After break up, what next? Moving on. Right? But that really is the hardest. No matter how the breakup happened or who initiated the breaking up, the aftermath of relationship wreck sometimes last a lifetime.
Recovering from the horrible pain and hurt of a broken relationship is no easy task. When we find love, we naturally hope it’s here to stay and last forever with no drama. And when it stays, it’s always delightful. But, when it doesn’t? The pain that comes with it can be very hurtful and worse than that, the reluctance to let go of what has gone and move on with ones’ life.
Unlike a light switch which we can turn on and off, the human feelings cant just be switched at the whim of thoughts. When relationships come to an end, it takes a while for the feeling and euphoria of having been in love to fade away. The loneliness, inward and outward anger, the feeling of being a failure, can be downright overwhelming for an individual. Then some people would find away to reach out to the other party, to inject he or she back into the other partner’s life and all just to keep the contact with the person alive and the attachment that comes with it. And while this is bound to occur, we are indefinitely postponing the process and timeline of healing the leftover pain and regret.
We can’t eat our cake and have it. In the seek for closure, we have to let go and live again. We say bye to a chapter of our life and move on. Not denial of the fact that that phase never happened, but to realize that there is no point dwelling in the past. You can’t imagine a future if you are still living the past and not even trying to move to the present. It happened, regret it all you like wishing and wanting, but you can’t change the fact that it happened. And the solution is to hold your head high and move on.
The thought and feeling of being incomplete is one thing to be dropped on the way to healing and closure. Feelings of failure, trying to contact the person (unless you have children together), dependency, guilt, resentment, and anger… all of these feelings must be dealt with and brought under control. While it’s normal to have an iota of feeling towards the other party (afterwards you once shared something), harboring the thoughts to the point of destruction prevents the process of healing from taking place thereby preventing happiness from coming your way.
Most times, when relationships come to an abrupt end, both parties blame themselves most especially the women. Self esteem in then measured on how long the relationship lasted and what was given and let go during the relationship. Truth is your self esteem should never be a measured by any other factor apart from yourself. When you love yourself, you will learn that your self worth does not revolve around another person but rather is enhanced by the other person.
While there is no definite way of healing the hurts from relationships, here are few ways to let go of the pain. The main thing is to seek for th healing and to stop clinging to the past. To dwell there, can neither help nor solve matters.
These seven steps should help the process of healing
1. Realize that you will still seek happiness. That time heals all. So just let go of the bitterness.
2. Realize that the relationship is over and clinging on to your ex-partner or stalking isn’t going to help matters.
3. Realize that your partner may have moved on completely, so don’t expect any reaching out from them
4. Understand what really happened. In order to avoid feeling so guilty, the person who leaves often exaggerates any negatives in the relationship to help them feel better.
5. Realize that even if you are the wronged party, you cant make the other party to apologize.
6. Realize that time waits for no one and the future is here.
7. Don’t jump into a new relationship. Enjoy your single status and realize that life is sweet.